I haven’t been posting much about Lauren lately. I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

See, the thing is this: even though I haven’t been posting about her, she’s been on my mind a lot. Every day, more than once a day. That’s only natural. She’s my daughter, and of course I’ll think about her.

These days, it’s just been a simple case of missing her. That’s really all there is. Not a lot of deep grief or depression or profound sadness – I just miss her. Even though I’ve come to learn to live with the grief, it’s still hard to think about how she should be here but isn’t. Acceptance is still hard, because deep down, I feel like it shouldn’t be this way.

That’s something I’ve been saying since she died, because it never changes. I miss her. I don’t understand how this could have happened. I don’t know why it happened. I can’t do anything but miss her.

It’s just the same thing, over and over again. So, when I sit down to write a blog post, I usually end up writing about something else. Or writing nothing at all. Because, sometimes, there’s only so much I can say about missing Lauren. I miss her. That’s all there is to it.

Today is one of those days when I just have nothing else to say.

So I’ll just say all there is to say.

I miss you, baby girl. I love you.