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I can’t stop myself from daydreaming. Most of the time, I don’t want to, because I’ve gotten to this point where I feel like I’ll never have what I want. Daydreaming is kind of painful now. Even when I’m not thinking about Lauren, she’s still there, reminding me that I won’t always get what I want.
I want to freeze frame last August and early September. It was the last time I was amazingly, unequivocally happy. I want that back.
I find it mildly concerning when my feet hurt. My left foot, mostly. It’s been giving me problems since the third trimester of the pregnancy. I worry about it.
I want to soak up all of  the books I’ve bought recently. I’ve got several on the wait list, and I’m hoping to get through them all in the coming months. I’ve been reading a lot lately. It’s nice.
I decide to take the plunge and try something new in the kitchen. It’s been a good week for that. I’ve tried all brand-new recipes (like carrot soup and twice-baked potatoes), plus foods I’ve never had (polenta) or made (udon!).
It really hits me that I’m living life without my daughter. I’m still not sure how that’s even possible.
I can’t believe how lucky I am when I am with my husband. He is – and always has been – completely amazing.
I feel like I never, never, ever feel like a normal person again.
I feel like a really good person when I post on other people’s blogs. I want them to know that I’m reading and thinking about what they say, that it’s important to me. That’s very much the truth.
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