Today, I am thankful for the babyloss community. I am thankful for men and women who talk about their children and share their experiences with others, who listen to the stories of other lost children and mourn them too. I am thankful for men and women who reach out to other babyloss parents and offer them comfort and understanding and compassion. I am thankful for the men and women who survive and live with their grief and show us that it is possible to keep going, even through the worst.

I am grateful for their honesty, for their bravery, for their graciousness. I am grateful that they show us their worst as well as their best: their anger, fear, and grief. They do not hide them away, and thus, they show us that we do not need to hide ourselves away. What we feel is normal, what we feel is right. If we are angry, then we should let ourselves be angry. If we need to grieve, then we should let ourselves grieve. They have walked this road and know its twists and turns; I am grateful that they sometimes point the way and tell us how to deal with the hardest parts.

I am sorry that they have to walk this road too. What they have learned, I too am learning, and these are lessons no one should have to experience. If we gain wisdom from our losses, it is a hard-won wisdom. No parent should have to find themselves with the wisdom we have.

I am sorry that they are grieving. They don’t deserve this. They should have their children. They should have the happiness that they dreamed of.

On those days when I feel I can’t face the world, I know that I can go to them and they will understand. They will cry with me, be angry with me, miss my daughter with me. Even when I feel I am most alone, they let me know that I am not.  And they will share their children with me; they will tell me of their beauty and their strength, their sacredness that has touched lives. Through each other, our children live on, remembered and loved. In this community of the babylost, no child is forgotten.

Women and men of the babyloss community, thank you. Thank you for your presence, for your voices. Thank you for your support, for your compassion. Thank you for your honesty, for your courage. Thank you for being there, even when no one else is.

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